gosh! it's so crowded in town. seems like a weekend to me. must be the great singapore sale and the school holidays. susan's on 2 days mc. unfit for work but fit enough to go town. *grins* met her for late lunch and walked around a bit but didn't manage to get anything. been an interesting day though. strolling down orchard and i had a feeling. still wondering if it's good or bad. to further confirm my doubt, i saw him. *laughs* the guy i always see at prudential road shows. guess what?!? found out that he's actually mingwei, mpe graduate, friend of susan. heard of this name before but didn't realise that it's him. what a coincidence. saw another familiar face at the road show --- jimmy teo. we chatted a for a while. was kinda bewildered by a piece of information (or gossip) and i'm gonna find out the truth. met shanas on the train back home. he knew about me being the chauffeur on saturday. apparently, ziwei must have complained about my lousy driving skills. *grins* anyone wants a ride?

*sigh* got my results last evening. it was bad. at a loss of what to do. need some time to sit down and think of what i really want. thanks to all those who offered help of any kind. really appreciate them. don't worry, i'll come up with something as soon as possible (i hope). think i might have a slight change in original plan. shrug. went ahead with mahjong with adrian, jeffery and JJ later in the night. had to divert my attention for a while. wonder if it's a good or bad thing that i actually felt better after the session. *grins* juz came back from a vegetarian buffet at quality hotel with gracie, shirleen and boyfriend (fabian) plus hazel. it's kind of like my birthday celebration (part 1). *smiles* surprised and happy that hazel actually turned up. been a long time since the four of us got together like this. no awkward silences and everything seems like nothing had happened. hope things will get better. glad she's slowly coming back into my life. it's a good start for now. looking forward to next saturday.

Tuesday:
made a trip back to hall early in the morning to settle a few pending issues. was supposed to meet the gers (gracie and shirleen) in town at 12. got delayed in campus and only managed to reach at 1 plus. caught them by surprise when they found out that i took a train down. *grins* had lunch at marche before we went around to shop for shirleen's working necessities. hate to admit but age is catching up fast on us. our legs were tired after a short while. as soon as shirleen got what she wanted, a pair of working shoes, we decided to go for coffee. well, it ended up to be my dinner. wonder when will we have another chance to come out to shop and have coffee after gracie's leave ends and shirleen starts working. so gonna miss hanging out with you gers.

Wednesday:
well, no one's gonna believe where i went in the day. was at the library with gracie! *laughs* been bumming around too much and decided to do something constructive. brought home 2 novels (hope i'll have the determination to finish reading them). even my mum was amazed when i went home with the books. finally, the long awaited mambo has arrived but it turned out to be a lousy night. music sux. crowd sux. the attention HE had from this particular group of gers probably made it a little worse. he calls me silly for being jealous but i think it's pretty normal. i have to say this, though we only communicate through smses, i really appreciate the effort to make me feel better. whatever the reason of the sudden change might be. thanks! another upset of the night was the liverpool match. at one point of time, i wonder if i was really the jinx. glad the game ended in a penalty shoot-out. anyway, besides HIM, sumone else's sms ended my night on a better note. not gonna say who it is, but if you're reading my blog and know i'm referring to you (i really hope you know who you are), *hugs*.

Thursday:
supper night in hall! level 7 yummy kitchen reopens! been a long time since we had such a crowd at level 7. for those who missed the session, it's your loss! *laughs* we had sumone new who joined us for the 1st time (bet there are many more to come) - joselyn. people come and go. supper kakis in hall has been changing. miss the old times when the fatties were still around, when the theory of 'not asking if you are hungry, juz asking you to eat' was implanted. *grins* how not to put on weight?!?
Supper Menu:
- Pasta in Cream of Mushroom (or was it wild mushroom?)
- Mushroom & Cheese Omelettes
- Hashbrowns (with cheese)
- Vegetarian Dumplings

*sigh* the verdict's gonna be out in a few hours. really dread this but i hafta face up to reality sooner or later. should i check my results after saturday? at least i'll get to enjoy for 2 more days. escapist! yes, that's what i wanna be now. wonder how i'm gonna do. wish me luck ya. gonna sleep my fears away. good night!

it was definitely a night to rememeber. was at chinablack for the retro party. the last time i visited the place was probably 2 years ago with gracie and shirleen. *laughs* why am i not surprised to see a handful of mambo regulars. *grins* kinda enjoyed myself. fun people to hang out with. anyway, that's not the main reason for me being so unusually happy. sumone's presence made it special. i shant mention any names. *smiles* was juz trying my luck when i sent him the sms. surprised but was really happy at the same time to get his reply. when he told me he's considering coming down, it made my night! wasn't really expecting that he would really appear and when ziwei spotted him, i was over the moon. we didn't have any contact through the night. seeing him was enough for me, at least for now (sounds a little crazy but that's how i feel). what made it better was the smses we exchanged after we left the place. it was kinda weird that he had a sudden change of attitude. but it was a change for the better for me. at a certain point, i actually had the idea that it wasn't him that was replying. but shrug, don't really care, i'm gonna take it as it is. hope things will get better for him and me. looking forward to seeing him on wednesday. =)

last night's mambo was great. was kinda expecting a crowd due to hall 2's bash. it turned out to be not that bad after all. maybe it was the alcohol. shan't list down what i drank last night. guess i was still a little upset by what happened over the weekend. surprised that i manage to dance for the whole night. apart from alcohol, think i gulped down a few glasses of ice water plus cherries. felt super bloated. but think the water kinda cleared my head a little. *grins* it was probably HIM that kept me on the dancefloor. and it was him that made me feel better. come to think of it, last night seems to be the 1st time he talked to me in zouk after we broke up. well, did i ever mention that geminis are fickle minded? uhm.. shrug. he's juz sumone whom i hope to be friends with all over again. as for the other, don't even wanna think about it. getting a little confused by myself.

juz hung up the phone. had an interesting conversation with daniel. couldn't stop laughing throughout tho it's kinda mean to build my happiness on his sadness. thought some laughter would cheer me up, but it doesn't seem to work that way. shrug. what's wrong with guys around me? or izzit juz me? one has decided to reply my messages and another starts to ignore. decided not to take initiative to contact him, but due to unforeseen circumstances, i had to drop him a message. it was a pretty normal sms, no signs of me wanting to start a cold war. he didn't reply anyway. wonder why i'm so affected but the fact is i am. going crazy le. he seems to always be in my conversation with anyone. shrug. *sigh* no good. looking for kakis to go shopping. help! gracie is stuck at home, susan hafta rush report. poor me! need to find sumthing for saturday's dinner. *sulks* what a lousy way to start the week. can sumone juz tell me what to do?

life's been pretty great for the past week till last night i guess. rushed back to hall on monday to submit the slashing of eca points to hall office only to realise that there's only one such case. what a waste of my time and effort. met up with jan and boi for lunch in town. been a long time since i last saw boi. she changed, for the better i would say, really happy for her =). for the 1st time, i see her in a bright pink top, sumthing which i wouldn't imagine her in in the past. went around town to look for a skirt for jan. wonder if it's us or her, can't seem to find sumthing that looks ok on her. *grins* probably we're juz not used to her looking so demure. wednesday's mambo was good. nothing special about the night but i had fun. hanged out at shell with the guys till late. met sumone there and he seemed to have gotten into sum kind of trouble. decided to drop him a sms to ask if he's alrite. *smiles* i actually had a reply! it's a bonus for me i guess. never expected him to reply. the message really perked up my spirits for the week. planned to go tanning at sentosa on thursday but was cancelled due to the weather. *sigh* stayed home the whole day in the end. visited gracie on friday morning with shirleen and hazel (surprised?). she seemed to be happier as compared to the last time we met up, i mean hazel. can't remember when the four of us last had a gathering. sumtimes, i juz wish things hadn't turn out this way. we were such good frens back then. *sigh* had lunch with shirleen at sakae before she dropped me off at paradiz. hafta agree that i'm an attitude ger. *laughs* wasn't on purpose. don't like to wait and the rest gonna be late. plus mahjong is juz too tempting. so i decided to give up ktv for mahjong. wonder if it was a mistake coz i'm still on the losing streak. had 5 rounds of mahjong that night. anyway, a very big sorry to all those who tried looking for me on friday. my phone doesn't have any reception at adrian's place so i couldn't be reached. got home at 5 in the morning and sent my parents off before i went to bed. tho it's gonna be a short trip, i know i will miss them. lazed around at home till dinner time on saturday. met daniel for dinner at marche. gosh! we spent half an hour at suntec trying to look for a parking lot. and as usual, he blames it on my bad luck at work. headed down to double o after dinner. was in a pretty good mood when i got there. however, sumthing happened that affected me quite a bit for the whole night, even till now. shrug. those who know me well should have known by now what was bugging me. anyway, i'll be fine. kinda made a decision, keeping my fingers crossed that i can keep to it. *grins*

Wednesday:
lousy and disappointing night at zouk. guess it's juz me. been a long time since mambo was so crowded (crowded seems like an understatement tho). stoned for the whole evening. the only people who caught my attention were yin and girlfriend plus my ntu number 2! *laughs* was told that he wasn't around, so seeing him there was a bonus. *smiles* hanged out at shell with ziwei, sebastian, jo and jayce till 5 plus. there's gonna be a great show next week. looking forward to it. *grins* hope there wun be anymore disappointment.

Thursday:
tho it feels good that exams have ended, life seems really aimless. got up at 11 not knowing what to do. no plans at all. spent the whole day staying home watching tv and meddling with my pc. so glad when daniel smsed me in the evening saying that he was heading to town to run some errands and asked if i was interested in catching a show. watched "House of Wax". no doubt the show was quite good, it's more of a gruesome movie rather than a horror movie to me.

Friday:
wanted to head back hall to settle the eca points for hall office. got a call from idol and decided to play mahjong instead. *grins* had 3 rounds of mahjong with xuanru, weixing and zusheng. still on the losing streak. guess it's juz coincidence, but i choose to believe otherwise. my luck changed for the better when i received a call from someone. *smiles* feel happy tho i still lost 16 in the end. headed down to amk for 2nd round of mahjong with adrian, jeffery and jj. planned to start early coz adrian had to work the next day. in the end, we played till 4 in the morning. my goodness. 7 rounds of mahjong in one day. that's a record for me.

Saturday:
dragged myself out of bed early coz hafta meet grace for lunch in town. lucky ger's going batam for a spa holiday. *envious* everytime after meeting up with grace, it makes me more certain that she's probably the only one who understands me - knows what i really want and what i'm thinking. went double o in the night as usual. getting quite sick of the hot and crowded place. but shrug, nothing to do anyway, and din wanna stay home. went for supper with ziwei, daniel and frens. was blamed for daniel's recent bad luck. *laughs* wonder if it's really related to me.

yay! so happy! survived the 3 weeks of torture. *laughs* went clubbing and had mahjong sessions but the feeling is juz different. guess i can party all i want tonight without feeling guilty. *grins* it's wednesday again! time for mambo! nothing much to update about my life tho, pretty much the same. is that good or bad? seems dull. oh.. i did meet up with my aj team last friday. dinner at esplanade. caught up a little with them. had fun gossiping. *smiles* miss them so much, especially my Janice lao-gong. made plans to go buffet, sun-tan and mahjong after exams. can't wait to go out have fun. not forgetting my dearest gracie and shir ---> when are we gonna meet? haven seen you girls for ages! sms me ya?

2005 April - Esplanade Janice & Me