clubbed at double o with ziwei. he's become my permanent clubbing kaki. *grins* met sebastian in the club too. time passed real fast. have a feeling that not many songs were spinned. really glad to hear summer rain at last tho. *smiles* it was the 1st time i danced on the centre platform at double o. unusually warm night. saw seniors and friends from hall 8, and there was an unpleasant surprise too. dawei and girlfriend (the same one since we broke up). know it's stupid of me to get upset but i have no idea why i'm so affected. till now, while writing the blog, i'm still thinking about him. i'm simply useless. *sigh* went supper with ziwei and he spent some time telling me about his secondary school life and ex-girlfriends. got to know more about this pretty boy. guess i wasn't the only one who did silly things before. glad that you have moved on, i'm sure you'll find your happiness one day.

had buffet dinner with mum and dad at quality hotel and i ate like a glutton. felt so full. the food there is not bad and lots of variety. next time shall bring gracie and shir there. we can grow fat together. *evil grin* kinda upset that i couldn't make it in time to meet up with the gers. been such a long time since we last met. miss you gers. went play mahjong at adrian's house after dinner. it's amazing how i still managed to win when i "bao" ziwei a five folds (i din want to do so actually). *bleah*

met up with ziwei and his frens to go ktv in the evening. it's amazing how i managed to survive among the whole group of guys. they make good ktv kakis tho. sing all kinds of songs and i had fun laughing at their comments. enjoyed myself. oh yes! for once, i actually din feel cold in the room, to be exact, felt kinda warm. there were just too many of us in there. fortunately, it got better as time passed. sang till 3am and went for supper at hougang superbowl. looking forward to next ktv session already. *laughs*

went clubbing at zouk with ziwei. it was an exciting night. lots of strange happenings. *laughs* a gay couple started frenching on the platform and made all our jaws dropped. the gays at zouk are getting real open. *tsk tsk* weird night. a couple of mambo songs were not played. in particular, my favourite summer rain! realised that a few of the zouk regulars visit double o on saturdays too. i was shocked that they recognise me. *grins* more clubbing kakis from now.

started mahjong at 4am. tsk tsk. contemplating to go home now but kinda lazy. it was a happy but busy tuesday. dropped by ntuc before coming back to hall. decided to buy a pint of icecream to pamper myself after such a long journey. haagen daz on sale! 9.85 per tub! hurry grab! but wait. rum & raisin or strawberry cheesecake? cant decide. both shall be it! haha. reached back hall at 4 plus. started on my small icecream fiest while consolidating some documents and updating the points. 2 tubs are really not enough. *sigh* supposed to meet jason at 8pm. but he only got back at 9 plus. good for me coz i haven finish the stuff either. meeting starting at 10 plus instead. lasted till 1am. came back to my room and do more work (was updating blog at the same time tho). received ryan's call and off i went to 62. a huge crowd was there: ryan, benny, fung chuan, anton, kelvin ho and quanrong?!? watching soccer and playing mahjong. supposed to share with ryan. heh. it's never a bad idea to do so. coz ryan seldom lose. *grins* in the end, we won 9 bucks. not too bad eh. anyway, i've decided to catch some sleep before going home. nite nite!

Sunday, February 20, 2005
got up at 11am to have breakfast. well, going out to play mahjong. so muz be good ger and wakey earlier. planned this mahjong session to make up for yesterday. but gonna play at susan's house for a change. adrian's gonna be late, so i took my own sweet time. wanted to take train but weather's too hot. took a cab instead. *grins* was the 1st person to get there. realised that marvin did not msg any of us, that sounds really bad. dropped him a msg and thank god! he's up already. adrian arrived not long after but we still couldn't start. ended up watching "you are the one" on vcr. marvin finally appeared after like 2 episodes of the drama and we could finally start. by then, i had already finished a bottle of cashew nuts (my favourite). so we started playing and eating (the latter applies to me only *laughs*). had "mua chi" and more cashew nuts. lady luck was smiling at me. cards were beautiful. and i won 30 plus after 2 rounds. adrian had to leave so susan and me had to find the last leg. got rejected by yvonne coz she "zhong se qing you", dunno go out with which guy. jeffrey had a date with his books already. ziwei already had enough rounds with his uncles. many many others couldn't make it. finally, found daniel the saviour but he could only reach in an hour. so we decided to have dinner 1st. steamboat. yes. dear susan ma prepared some cat food for her pet. after dinner, was my main course. carrefour's tiramisu icecream! hee. so daniel arrived and we continued our mahjong session. before we knew it, it's already 12am and i finished a bottle of candies (i was juz clearing stock for susan *winks*). packed up and headed home. *yawns* muz have a good sleep.

Saturday, February 19, 2005
got home at 7am after 2 rounds of mahjong with daniel and friends (eileen and regina if i din remember wrongly). *tired* jcrc meeting ended at 1am and i juz could not resist the temptation. guess im wrong about my luck changing for the better. lost 17 bucks and it's after dividing by 2. should have lost 35. maybe im not cut out to play 30-60. *laughs* excuses excuses excuses! but i dun care! *bleah* showered and went straight to bed. set my alarm at 1130am to be in time for "xun yi cao". must have missed my bed too much. slept through the alarm and got up at 1 plus instead. saw adrian's sms to play mahjong. really sorry that i had to turn him down coz got visiting to do (saturday's supposed to be reserved for mahjong with adrian). started to "nua" in the living room, watching tv, waiting for time to pass. dad finally came back and hafta drag myself out of the comfy position to get changed. as usual, i was the last to be ready and we headed to my cousin's condo at bukit batok. it's been a long time since i last saw my nephew. we never had the chance to meet up every time he comes back from england (at last!). chatted with my cousins and had a very heavy dinner. program after dinner? BLACKJACK! that's the tradition of the family. cleared the dining table and almost everyone sat around the table to play. well, i opted out coz was leaving for double o soon.

1st cousin: so you going to your boyfriend's place?

me: no boyfriend... how to go?

1st cousin: how can that be?

me: really dun have...

1st cousin: your expectations too high.

me: not me, it's the guys. *laughs*

typical conversation every cny gathering. anyway, it was time for me to go. took 5 mins to say tata to everyone and took a cab down to ms. and yes, long queue again! called david and managed to get in on guest list. *winks* glad i met kevin on the way up. if not, i'll be alone again. *sigh* retro's starting real late on saturday nites nowadays. time check: 1130pm. finally! the night started off well, nice songs. ziwei and his "colleagues" came after a while. he was all dressed up and my 1st thought: wat would jayce's comments be if he was here? *grins* it was an extremely warm night. got out of the dance floor at 2am. couldn't take the heat anymore. hanged around with the boys at double o till 3am and went to "lau pa sat" to get supper. interesting frens he's got. fun to hang out with i guess. ziwei sent us back at around 5am. sometimes feel really bad to make him drive so much, especially when he's tired and i had to go back hall. thanks pretty boy!

can't believe this. woke up at 2 this afternoon and im feeling sleepy already. miss my bed at home. *sobs* its a friday night and im stuck in hall coz of jcrc meeting. how no life! *sulks* went to catch dancetitude juz now. good dancers, nice figures, striking outfits but the choreography was a little off. anyway, really wish i can dance like them. so cool! well well, gotta go, someone's rushing. *pouts*

*grins* juz came back from a mahjong session again! thanks ryan for finding players for me and putting us up in your room. =) know you have a quiz later on, all the best! oh yes! we have a guest appearance! guess who??!!?? Mr Tan Chuan Yang! everyone was so surprised that he was one of the players. anyway, wanna play coz it was a super boring night and in hope of a change in luck. my effort finally paid off. ended my losing streak since the eve of cny! luck wasn't too good at the beginning but started to change towards the end, to be precise, after "someone" left. *laughs* shan't mention any names. i actually "zi mo" thirteen wonders! but my winnings were used to pay off my previous debts. alrite, gotta go catch my beauty sleep already, people are asking about the dark rings.

oh my! juz came back from zouk as usual. feeling a little light headed. drank quite abit tonite. hope i wun break out in rashes again tmr. dun wanna take jab. =( well, saw him again and i realised that i still find him attractive. yes yes.. especially when he dances with jayce. think i'm a little crazy here, but who cares?!? i was really tempted to strike a conversation with him tonite, but guess the worry of being ignored by him overcame all temptations. seriously, if i can turn back time, i will still wanna know him. seeing him being approached by other gers juz remind me of myself. how silly. shrug, i wonder if i'll be better off if i can let him go.*sigh*

*yawn* so sleepy. juz finished 2 rounds of mahjong with ryan and gang. wonder if it's coz i'm too greedy or i'm really down on my luck or ryan is juz too good for my standard? *grins* have been on a losing streak since the beginning of cny. well, maybe i should stop playing? *laughs* don't think i'll be able to resist the temptations. maybe i should pray hard for my luck to change for the better? i seriously hope it does.

Valentines Day is over. finally. i simply don't understand why everyone thinks i have a date this year. been asked countless times how i'll be celebrating. *laughs* waited in vain for the right one to ask me out on this special day. in the end, i gave up on the eve of valentines day and decided to date my "lesbian partner", susan. as expected, she already had a date with her "boyfriend" *winks* and i asked to tag along (how thick-skinned, but i can't be bothered). it was a pleasant surprise tho to get a stalk of rose from someone (you know who you are *smiles*). thanks dear dear. *hugs*

Monday, February 14, 2005
was snuggling in bed with baby minnie till 11 plus and decided to make my way to medical centre. *grins* came back to hall and continued to nua till 3 plus. went jp with my dates where we watched "Constantine". quite a crap show, not as good as i thought it would be. got to know that susan actually likes sweet popcorn and yvonne likes salted. it's been a long time since i ate popcorn, prefer nachos actually. anyway, we proceed to have our dinner at the foodcourt. wow! guess it's one of the rare times when we actually don't have much trouble in finding seats. it's really amazing that every single resturant at jp actually had a considerably long queue. went walk walk after dinner for the food to digest. our last stop was andersens ice cream where we waited for like 15 mins to get a table (that was another record). all of us had a sundae each. ate rum, cookies & cream and macadamia caramel. no haagen daz, andersens oso not bad. made our way back to hall and i began my routine of checking mails and keying points. *sigh*

it would be a lie if i said i din think of him. and yes, silly me couldn't resist and dropped him a sms at 10 plus wishing him a happy st valentines. as usual, no replies.

it's been a real busy cny and i wonder why. supposed to be a happy new year but it doesn't feel that way and i wonder why. *sigh* seriously, i have no idea what i really want now, priorities not set, nothing is done. i juz can't seem to be serious about life, about work. i juz can't seem to get over him. seeing him at zouk again make me realised that i do still feel for him, much as i hate him for ignoring me. if only he'll lemme know why he's giving me such treatment. izzit gonna take another guy that mean alot to me to forget him? why does history like to repeat? yes, i agree i'm silly, but what to do, that's me, wonder when i'll ever learn. wonder if the increase in frequency of clubbing gotta do with him? *laughs* but i'm enjoying all the clubbing while i can. this issue is gonna be never ending, at least for now. for people out there who's getting my mood swings, i'm sorry. oh yes! Happy Valentines' Day to me!