these few weeks have been really bad. i'm probably juz lousy at managing my own life. sorry to all those around me who are affected, especially someone whom you know who you are. never thought it would affect u as much as it did. never thought i could be such a hindrance to your life. it's time i put a full stop to all these nonsense. i guess i'm pretty self-centred. at times, i juz think for myself and never tried to put myself in others' position. maybe it's really hard to accomodate me. sorry to have caused so much inconvenience and trouble. but i really can't help it. why izzit so hard to forget someone, to put someone down. or izzit true that i juz yearn for something that i can't have? maybe the fact that i've not been able to get what i want makes me more determined to get it? he asked, what's so good about him? i have no idea. maybe it's not about him. it's juz me. or maybe it's juz him. juz so him to help a friend in need and juz so him to be there for a friend as much as he could. sometimes, i believe that i've brought all these unhappiness upon myself. life would juz have been much more peaceful if things had remain as they were after the incident. it's easy to forgive but i can never forget. the anger, the hatred, the me that has completely given up. i wonder why and how did i land myself in such a situation once again. why didn't i juz keep things as they were? life would probably be much much better now if i had kept to what i said. hafta listen more to my head than my heart from now on.