Friday, November 11, 2005

The Aftermath

bad news travel fast. not long after my previous post, i actually received a number of calls and smses. few of those caught me by surprise. nevertheless, thanks for all your concern and advice. really appreciate them. guess i'm a little selfish in a way, but i need the break, otherwise, i'm gonna be the one who breaks. i understand my parents are gonna be so heartbroken to hear this and i'm not only letting them down, myself too. i would have chosen a different path if i could. if i have the confidence, courage and ablility to carry on, i would. sad to say, i don't. till now, i've not thought of a good way, or rather, the best way to break the news to them. i juz wish there is some way of lessening the pain and hurt i'm gonna cause. trust me, i did not rush into making this decision. i've gone through lots of consideration before reaching such a conclusion. it's all too late if you try to convince me to change my mind now. juz praying hard and keeping my fingers crossed that things can go on as planned. the past 10 months of this year has been kinda lousy for me, hope the next 2 months wouldn't get any worse.