xiao mao is confused once again. *sigh* so much insecurities lately and i'm beginning to take the nonchalant approach. Most of the time, i'll juz push aside everthing, forget the unhappiness. It works till the next time emo monster creeps up on me. I remember someone told me before that i can't bear the emptiness of being alone and i've always debated that point. Now, i'm beginning to have doubts. Honestly, i do miss being attached. The need for having someone to whine to is increasing. Its juz so not gonna happen. I enjoy times spent alone. Shopping, swimming.. So long as i'm occupied i suppose. I hate it when i'm all alone doing nothing. Maybe that's why i finally got my dive licence, maybe that's how shirleen managed to convince me to go for yoga classes, maybe that's why i'm always filling up my time with one activity or another. I'm afraid of being alone. It scares me and my imagination would run wild. Grr..

I don't care if i'm his only girl, i juz want him and myself to be happy, to enjoy each others' company. I don't care how others see me or what they say about me, for this is my life. I live my life the way i want it.