it's been a long while. why am i blogging at this hour? *shrug* simply no mood for work today. going through the same routine everyday is juz unbearable. i wonder how long more i can hold out. being one of the last to know of the bad news does not help at all. got out of office before 10am. i did not want to face her. i know i can't. da jie and i have done all that we could to speak up for her, but nothing helps. the decision of the top management can't be overruled. *sigh* how unfair can the world get? the reason behind the termination is juz simply ridiculous. maybe i should thank my parents for giving me a pleasant face and a 'winning' smile (according to my hairstylist). grr... you will be missed.

on top of that i made an irreversible mistake last night that caused much embarrassment to someone. i'm guilty and yes, i feel really bad. i should not have let emotions get the better of me. but it's tough. honestly, i know this is heading nowhere but yet, i'm still holding on. many times i wanna walk away but i juz don't have enough determination. reality is always cruel, facing it is even worse i suppose. he will eventually find his someone and i'll juz be a good friend who will always be there. is that what i want and what i can take?