have you ever wished to go back to the past? i do. i often hope that i could turn back time. reason? probably to make up for all the regrets i have. *sigh* it's been 2 weeks. not that i didn't have the time nor was it due to tiredness. i juz didn't wanna make blogging a habit, especially when i'm feeling down. reading through my entries, it appears that majority of the posts reflect unhappiness. i'm a selfish person i realised. much as i'm a frank and straightforward person, i do find it hard at times to reveal how i really feel. i've always taken for granted that others would be able to read my mind. but that's not always the case. i'm back in my comfort zone i admit. i'm no longer the independant and determined person i used to be. many times, i would choose to take the easy way out. being the only child has made me grown used to doing things on my own. though i enjoy being in the company of good friends, i have no problems shopping in town alone, dining on my own or simply spend time by myself. wonder when did i start to crave for the company of someone else. it's scary. i have my doubts but i put in 100 percent trust. izzit worth it? *shrug* received a sms from quanrong on wednesday. wonder why but it's always the case that he's in some kind of trouble whenever he looks for me (it's a mutual thing i suppose). was looking at the past email exchange we had and the little notes he wrote for me. strange but i could still remember how it felt. 2 years plus and it seems juz like yesterday. don't get the wrong idea. i've long put down the relationship. what's between me and him is pure friendship. can't remember when was the last time before wednesday that i clubbed. decided to head down to mambo since i was on training for the week. "feels like i'm back home" is probably what best describes how i felt. miss those days when i could club with the group every week, dancing to our favourite music. the session made me felt better. a group of us then went spize for supper. it's been a long time since i hanged out with the group like this. thanks to roger for sending me back and to adrian who drove me to zouk. i'm really pampered. aren't i? at the end of it all, i've still not come to the point yet. i really wanna turn back time, to where it all started. wanna be at the beginning when we 1st met, year 1 NTU.

to be continued...