heeded someone's advice to stay home and rest. work is really tiring me out. no doubt this is much easier than shaw's road show in december, i'm still drained by the 8 hours of non-stop smiling everyday. it gets real tiring when i hafta put on that false front even when i'm dead tired or unhappy. guess that's the reason why people may think i'm feeling down. juz feel like taking off the mask once i knock off. perhaps i'm juz tired, very tired in fact. more of mentally drained than physically exhausted. i'm sorry if i sounded hostile last night. but i needed to voice out how i feel before i go crazy. seriously, i do see your point and all. however, you can't deny the truth in my statements. i understand that you've not only got your own future to handle, but a lot more others are in your care as well. certain things have more priority over others and i can't help but wonder where i stand. time is not a good excuse. like i said if you can't spare the time now, it's gonna be even more difficult to have the time in future. you asked me to put my trust in you and i did. somehow my confidence has been badly shaken. many of you out there muz be thinking i'm juz wasting my time yet again. but i decided to take the risk. i'm scared. but this is the best way out at this moment. i have no other choice but to believe him.