my heart's been bugged since the girls talk on thursday night. was trying to help a poor girl out of a situation that seems so familiar. sharing my experience was kinda painful. memories are all that i've left. wonder why it still hurts everytime i think of the past. dear dear's probably the one that i could rely upon for the rest of my life, he'll probably make the best person to walk through the rest of my life with. he may not seem to have what it takes to others but to me, he's juz what i'm looking for. it took me a year to come to realisation that it's impossible for us to be together coz things are juz not gonna work out. i'm happy to have him as a good friend and it's good enough for me to know that he'll always be there for me. in case you're wondering, he wasn't the main cause of my troubles over the weekend till now. it was HIM. the small incident on friday night sparked it off. to be honest, it was nothing serious, kinda trivial rather, but i juz can't seem to put it down. was playing mahjong at adrian's place when JJ told me the news. he'd spotted HIM with the girlfriend at JP earlier in the evening when we dropped by to get some snacks. what a coincidence. i never had such luck though and i wonder if it's a good or bad thing that it wasn't me who bumped into them. maybe we're juz not fated. *shrug* since that night, i juz feel terrible. HE's all that i can think of and i can't seem to concentrate on other stuff. it's really time i move on. it seems like i have but have i? if i have, why am i so affected by little things about HIM? if i haven't, why am i still holding on? i really have no idea. confused little cat is really confused! it's kinda obvious that things are over between us. what am i waiting in vain for? i'd been through this. it was difficult then and it's not any easier now. i have the sudden urge to juz pick up the phone and give HIM a ring. HE'll probably not pick up the call anyway. should i? or should i not?