PISSED! that's what i'm feeling right now. for the past few days, i've been trying to get over everything that has happened. juz wanna put everything behind me. well, if that's the case, why on earth did i bother to read his blog? serves me right! in any case, this is specially dedicated to mr tay.
1. i'm sorry to have not seen or appreciated your efforts to prevent things from happening. but it seems to me that you'd juz stood there and did nothing that fateful night.
2. why the hell in the 1st place would those persons who have judged you be interested to find out the story if you have deemed them to be 'important'? they have their own lifes to much care about yours mind you! (that's from me)
3. it's really up to you what you wanna do. no one can ask you to do what you don't want to. i suppose you believe that you have done what you could have done in your context.
4. roger the point that she's not your girlfriend. but look at my post, i used the word 'supposed'. if you can't control her life, what makes you think you can control mine? didn't wanna drag more people into the picture but it seems like i have no choice but to say this now. your close buddy ken had told me that you messaged him to get me go for a drink in order to avoid any ugly situations. both him and sebastian did try and i'm sorry for not listening. i have my point to prove. if she has her right to be there, don't i have my right to be where i want to be too? what makes you think you have a say in asking me to leave? see how contradicting and biased you are?
5. i understand that it's in no one's control to say who's to be in a club or not. seriously, i don't remember saying i don't wanna see her there again. it's not up to me to decide who's to enter or not. i'll take the line back if i'd made such a childish statement.
6. we're juz out to have fun and enjoy ourselves at clubs. but sometimes, such things happen and when it does who can we blame? no one. coz no one wants the night to be spoiled. i'm not saying that she can't be there on the dancefloor. i don't own the club much less the dancefloor. all i asked for from you was to stop her from doing what she was doing.
7. 'fear of the consequences you will face from her if you interfered' was quoted from ken. verify with him all you want. frankly, i don't care whose side you'll be on if a fight starts. reason? coz i wouldn't wanna get into a sprawl with her in the very 1st place. too ugly a thing to do. do get the facts right but correct me if i'm wrong. you know very well who was looking for whose trouble that night. i did NOTHING! nothing at all. i did not lay a finger on her nor hurl any abuse at her. the only people whom i shouted at was those who tried to pull me away. you know me, i juz wanna have my fun and HATE to be disturbed. let me make it clear now: i'm not one who will START a fight but no guarantees if i'm challenged AGAIN.
8. who doesn't make mistakes? i admit i was rude to roll my eyes away, and if it makes you happier in any way, i apologise. friends who had been with me long enough will know. i'm not the kind who puts on a false front. though i deny it at times, my expression is a true reflection of my emotions. why should i bother to be nice to someone whom i don't have a good impression of? i see no point in befriending someone when i know nothing good will come out of it.
9. it doesn't make much difference to continue dancing or stand there and do nothing except sending messages to others to get me to leave. i never did say it's your fault. right from the start, i never did not point fingers at anyone. if caring for myself deems me to be a selfish girl, i'll take the name.
10. i know the basic courtesy. thanks for reminding though. i juz find it hypocritical to smile at someone i dislike. detest is too strong a word to be used. what's the point of forcing a smile on the surface when i'm cursing at the bottom of my heart? it was in my intention to exaggerate the point about her trying to befriend me if you hadn't read the sarcasm between my lines.
at the end of it all, who are you and ken to decide what's going to happen? assurances? let me assure you one thing. even if she ever initiates a fight, i wouldn't return any blows much less start one with her. this i promise. for those friends who tried to stand up for me in one way or another, i believe it was all out of concern and i thank all of them for that. you are in no position to judge them, please don't. it wasn't in my agenda to get innocent parties involved and i'm sorry for all the problems i've directly or indirectly created. last of all, who really knows the full situation? has any of them, joanne, allan or even sebastian talked to me over this issue? i believe not. till last wednesday, i've always thought the conflict was only between the two of us. what i've discussed with a few of my friends was never directed at her. after the incident, i've not spoken to any of those that you have mentioned. what do they know then? your side of the situation or rather her side of the story.
i'm sick and tired of this. much as i want to not let it affect my life, it has. i'm trying very hard to get out of all these nonsense. i'm juz a simple girl who wants to lead a simple life. have fun and be happy. is it that difficult? even the 8 rounds of mahjong in 18 hours on friday can't make up for what i'm feeling right now.
1. i'm sorry to have not seen or appreciated your efforts to prevent things from happening. but it seems to me that you'd juz stood there and did nothing that fateful night.
2. why the hell in the 1st place would those persons who have judged you be interested to find out the story if you have deemed them to be 'important'? they have their own lifes to much care about yours mind you! (that's from me)
3. it's really up to you what you wanna do. no one can ask you to do what you don't want to. i suppose you believe that you have done what you could have done in your context.
4. roger the point that she's not your girlfriend. but look at my post, i used the word 'supposed'. if you can't control her life, what makes you think you can control mine? didn't wanna drag more people into the picture but it seems like i have no choice but to say this now. your close buddy ken had told me that you messaged him to get me go for a drink in order to avoid any ugly situations. both him and sebastian did try and i'm sorry for not listening. i have my point to prove. if she has her right to be there, don't i have my right to be where i want to be too? what makes you think you have a say in asking me to leave? see how contradicting and biased you are?
5. i understand that it's in no one's control to say who's to be in a club or not. seriously, i don't remember saying i don't wanna see her there again. it's not up to me to decide who's to enter or not. i'll take the line back if i'd made such a childish statement.
6. we're juz out to have fun and enjoy ourselves at clubs. but sometimes, such things happen and when it does who can we blame? no one. coz no one wants the night to be spoiled. i'm not saying that she can't be there on the dancefloor. i don't own the club much less the dancefloor. all i asked for from you was to stop her from doing what she was doing.
7. 'fear of the consequences you will face from her if you interfered' was quoted from ken. verify with him all you want. frankly, i don't care whose side you'll be on if a fight starts. reason? coz i wouldn't wanna get into a sprawl with her in the very 1st place. too ugly a thing to do. do get the facts right but correct me if i'm wrong. you know very well who was looking for whose trouble that night. i did NOTHING! nothing at all. i did not lay a finger on her nor hurl any abuse at her. the only people whom i shouted at was those who tried to pull me away. you know me, i juz wanna have my fun and HATE to be disturbed. let me make it clear now: i'm not one who will START a fight but no guarantees if i'm challenged AGAIN.
8. who doesn't make mistakes? i admit i was rude to roll my eyes away, and if it makes you happier in any way, i apologise. friends who had been with me long enough will know. i'm not the kind who puts on a false front. though i deny it at times, my expression is a true reflection of my emotions. why should i bother to be nice to someone whom i don't have a good impression of? i see no point in befriending someone when i know nothing good will come out of it.
9. it doesn't make much difference to continue dancing or stand there and do nothing except sending messages to others to get me to leave. i never did say it's your fault. right from the start, i never did not point fingers at anyone. if caring for myself deems me to be a selfish girl, i'll take the name.
10. i know the basic courtesy. thanks for reminding though. i juz find it hypocritical to smile at someone i dislike. detest is too strong a word to be used. what's the point of forcing a smile on the surface when i'm cursing at the bottom of my heart? it was in my intention to exaggerate the point about her trying to befriend me if you hadn't read the sarcasm between my lines.
at the end of it all, who are you and ken to decide what's going to happen? assurances? let me assure you one thing. even if she ever initiates a fight, i wouldn't return any blows much less start one with her. this i promise. for those friends who tried to stand up for me in one way or another, i believe it was all out of concern and i thank all of them for that. you are in no position to judge them, please don't. it wasn't in my agenda to get innocent parties involved and i'm sorry for all the problems i've directly or indirectly created. last of all, who really knows the full situation? has any of them, joanne, allan or even sebastian talked to me over this issue? i believe not. till last wednesday, i've always thought the conflict was only between the two of us. what i've discussed with a few of my friends was never directed at her. after the incident, i've not spoken to any of those that you have mentioned. what do they know then? your side of the situation or rather her side of the story.
i'm sick and tired of this. much as i want to not let it affect my life, it has. i'm trying very hard to get out of all these nonsense. i'm juz a simple girl who wants to lead a simple life. have fun and be happy. is it that difficult? even the 8 rounds of mahjong in 18 hours on friday can't make up for what i'm feeling right now.