never imagined there could be a worse mambo compared to last wednesday but it happened. my night was totally wrecked by a crazy girl. guess i was wrong to think that everything with him had been solved and settled. let's refer to him as mr tay (getting kinda messed up with the multiple him(s)). there's a saying that goes "don't go looking for trouble and trouble won't come looking for you". totally disagree with this statement. didn't do anything that could have sparked off the incident last night and it juz happened. shall leave out the details on what exactly went on on the podium. interested parties can look me up. warning: be prepared for my never ending ranting. i believe i had done my part as a friend of mr tay. learnt that his girl did not have a good impression of me (no worries, the feeling is mutual). for that reason, i steered clear of their paths. even went to the extent of not hanging out with my regular group of friends whenever the couple's around. juz wanted to stay out of trouble and don't wanna make things difficult for anyone. things were getting on pretty fine to me and i wonder what got into her head last night. why is she making herself angry over the fact that i'm ignoring her and claims that i was giving her 'the looks' since we both don't have a good impression of each other? seriously, i have not figure out why is she so interested in befriending me. look, i wouldn't want to make friends with people that i don't have a liking for. so what is it about me that's so appealing to her? why does she need the attention from me? *shrug* i have no idea. one reason could be, i WAS mr tay's friend and therefore she wanted to make peace. good effort but hey! if that's the case, show me the basic respect a friend should have for one another. i've given face by not returning any of her actions and words. didn't want to create a scene in zouk either. took a step back and she took two steps forward, stepping all over me. don't take advantage of my kindness and push me off my limit. if there's gonna be a next time, i swear i won't give in anymore. for mr tay, if you had treated me as a friend, you wouldn't have allowed your supposed girlfriend do such a thing to your friend. would you? please take your mrs tay in hand. that's all i ask for. heard you did not interfere for fear of the consequences you would face from her. and for that, i lost all the trust and faith i had in this so called friendship we had. all that you have said doesn't match your actions. and if i hafta put up with such nonsense by being your friend, sad to say i would rather give this privilege up. it's too much for me to handle. last night had been embarrassing and i don't wish for a repetition. but what's done can't be undone and i won't be able to forget what happened. no apologies would help the situation. there's no point in saying sorry after slapping a person real hard. i have slight knowledge of what you are going through from the guys and i'm really puzzled. but i respect your choice. sorry for not being understanding and for coming to such a decision. i know i'm being unfair but what's fairness? i'm not getting my fair share either. what upset me further was when friends around asked me to leave when it happened. know it was out of concern and for good of everybody. but why do i hafta be the one to leave? *sigh* she was the one who came to provoke me when i did nothing at all. juz felt unjustified to why i hafta be the one to go. in any case, thanks to all those who were there to help, especially daniel, jayce and sebastian. i apologise for being rude but was really pissed at that point in time and words juz came out of my mouth without going through the brain. *shrug* i'm contradicting myself on the apologising part but that's the least i can offer.

well, i treasure all my friends out there. no matter how we've met and what we had gone through before. i can't do without any one of you. i'm not one who gives up on my friends unless it's absolute necessary. different groups of friends had accompanied me through different stages of my life, from yangzheng to cedar to AJ and finally NTU. i'm thankful for your presence. you added colours to my life. kinda inspired after reading daniel's blog and decided to mention a few names. *smiles* not gonna give any award though coz it's gonna be a tough decision.

(not in order of merit)

Gracie: someone who will always be there for me. no matter where i am or what hour it is, she'll always be there when i need a shoulder to lean on or a listening ear. what we've gone through together for the past ten years have made our friendship stronger. saw me through my most down periods and shared my happiest moments.

Shirleen: a girl who never fails to offer me comfort and who is a great listener. though we seldom get to meet, we still remain as close as ever. since day one in cedar, we've been through lots of ups and downs and made our friendship to be what it is today. will never forget our pineapple tarts making and brownies baking days.

Janice: my dearest lao gong who's been a great team-mate and soul-mate. went through lots of hard training and tough competition from cedar to AJ. shared tears and joy. training camps will never be the same without her. i'll always be her dear princess.

Quanrong: my ex-boyfriend who treats me better now than when we were together. always offering good advices and can trust him on giving frank answers. buys me my favourite donuts in times of need. in case of emergency, he's always the first help line on the list.

Susan: best friend in hall. guess the only common interest we have is food. does the craziest things when we're together. can be trusted upon to take care of me when i'm drunk.

for those who are not mentioned above, don't feel sad. *grins* you're all dear to me, especially my team-mate cum classmate for four years (bibiana), my boi (peiling), my regular mahjong kakis (adrian, jeffery, jj) and my clubbing friends (allan, daniel, jayce, sebastian etc).

events that brightened up the past week:
- dad bought twelve durians home on friday and we had a durian feast! *yum yum*
- played mahjong on monday, tuesday and wednesday coz adrian's back! (gonna have another session this coming friday. *grins*)
- today's the 2nd anniversary of getting my driving licence! 7th JULY! *yay*