it's a wednesday night. i'm supposed to be at zouk. supposed to. 6 months ago, you'll never fail to find me at the same place. sometimes i juz wonder if it's all worthwhile. to be honest, i love to club. i really do. juz don't understand why people don't understand my idea of clubbing :: to enjoy the music, dance, have a couple of my favourite drinks and catch up with friends. it's juz that simple. nothing more than that. miss mambo. *sigh* david asked me that day :: what is considered being selfish in a relationship? i believe that all humans are selfish in one way or another, it's juz the degree of selfishness that varies. i admit i'm selfish but there're times when i'll give in. it's true. at times like this, i juz wonder if i'm being taken for granted. i know it's unfair that i'm not speaking up but somehow i need time to think. whenever this happens, i'll juz sink into deep thoughts but after a long night of rest, i'll juz decide to keep the matter aside. that's not very helpful i guess. maybe it's juz me. it's been almost 2 months since i last clubbed. for someone who clubs at least once every week, i suppose 2 months is a record. i know i'm repeating myself but i miss mambo. whispering our goodbyes waiting for the train i was dancing with my baby in summer rain...

feeling grouchy. many many reasons to that. 1stly, darling went to play di with carey, issac and steven. leaving poor baby all alone at home. it's the 3rd consecutive night he's out with the guys. poor poor baby. 2ndly, it's a wednesday night and i'm cooped up at home! i wanna go clubbing! last night i was dreaming i was locked in a prison cell.. 3rdly, work. counting the months, i'm with the company for almost a year (excluding part-time days which were more fun). many many changes, especially in terms of colleagues. good and bad. so many new faces in the company. don't even recognise. still remember my days as a newbie. learned everything through practice. really thankful of people whom i worked with for being so patient. it's not easy. today, i got to know a piece of news which upset me quite a bit. someone's leaving the company for a better offer. really happy for her but at the same time can't help but feel sad. she was the 1st person i got to know in the company. helped me a lot and been through bad times with me. one of the reasons why i managed to convert to full-time. so gonna miss her when she's gone. one less reason for me to stay with the company. work is becoming so routined. answering the same questions every day. why can't everyone be more kind to sales personnel or CSO? we are humans too. we have bad days too. can't expect us to know everything right? juz coz i belong to one company doesn't mean i hafta do everything for you. it's not an obligation, it's a service. have you ever tried to get someone at best denki or harvey norman to repair your faulty plasma tv? if the answer is no, stop asking me to help you service your phone. most hated: you mean you dunno your product? only know how to sell, dunno how to repair. what kind of service? customer service sir/madam. what kind of logic is that? if i sell phone means i must know how to repair? if that's the case, go to your car dealer and ask them fix your car for you. next most hated: same company ma. why can't i leave the phone with you? send it for service for me la. i'm very busy, can't always come down and waste my time le. you're not the only one who's busy lo. if every customer comes to me and ask me send their phone in for service, i no need work liao lo. i'm going mad from all these. really sick of it. i'm in need of a break seriously.