~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~7th July 2007~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i wanna get married! met up with gracie on tue and wonder what sparked off the discussion. whether i'm afraid of being left on the shelf or izzit the ringing wedding bells that got me crazy but i really wanna get married! the question now is: who shall i marry? *laughs* seriously, i thought to myself. if any one proposes to me within this year, i'll probably not hesitate to agree. *hint hint* guess it's more of wanting to put on the wedding gown and the desire to have my own kids than anything else. or maybe, i'm juz tired of my current life. geminis get bored easily i suppose. it's time i stop painting beautiful pictures. it's time for me to face reality. it's never gonna happen. i'm really tired. tired of telling myself to give up. tired of believing. juz tired. not meant to be. if it is, things would have developed back then. i thought i had a 2nd chance but seems like i was juz imagining things. *sigh* you told me to give up for the time being. if i want to and can do so, i would have given up. you're forever keeping things from me. sometimes, i juz wish i know more. don't want your problems to affect others. that's your nature but i juz wish i could share. maybe i'm pushing too hard. too agressive. maybe i should have let what's past remain as past. for now, i really wanna get married. can someone please propose?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~mambO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

been a while since i clubbed. it was fun! can't really remember what happened. confession: i was high. probably that was why it was more fun than usual. met several different groups of friends and the 1st half of the night was spent drinking. was at velvet with susan and friends most of the time. god knows what i drank. but i suppose i downed at least 8 lychee martinis. it's hard to find good drinking kakis nowadays. honestly, i don't remember what songs were spinned. according to sources, i forgot my moves. *laughs* not that i forgot, juz that i was too high i suppose. can't help but i really miss those regular clubbing days. met yin on the way to shell. question: why are you always the only girl with a group of guys? izzit safe? strange but i suddenly feel like going back to being a les. fine. super no link but that's juz a thought. you told me not to drink so much in future. but why didn't you ask why i drank so much? guess there wasn't a concrete reason. juz felt like drinking. it's good to relieve stress this way once in a while.