i have no choice but to believe that when you gain something, you lose something. that's life. hazel and dawei seem to be slowly moving back into my life. though we aren't as close as before, at least we are on talking terms now. as i'm regaining my 2 lost friendships, i've lost yet another friend. it's juz me i guess. might have been oversensitive regarding this issue, but i believe that my feelings are not completely groundless. feel like i've been taken for granted by a friend, if he ever consider me as one in the 1st place. this has happened before, and i'm silly enough to let it happen a 2nd time. not gonna let it happen a 3rd time and make myself seem like a complete fool. it's petty and childish of me to wanna cut contact with him coz of this but i really don't wanna get hurt anymore. much as i hate to admit, i'm pretty affected by everything that's happened. anyway, i'm not the only one who doesn't want to resolve the differences. he admitted in a sms to daniel that he's ignoring me. can't really blame me for not wanting to talk to him right? many of you have told me that i'm feeling so pissed coz i'm carrying a torch for him. i suppose i do feel something for him (adrian and daniel must be overjoyed that i'm finally agreeing to their statement) but that's besides the point. probably my expectations of him as a friend are way too high. guess the only explanation for that is i treatED him as a good friend. shrug. i'm not the kind of person who can't share platonic friendships with guys i've taken an interest in. but look, my point is, i feel that i'm not even being treated as a friend in this case. how else do you expect me to react? i understand that the truth hurts, but i'm the kind who would rather be hurt than to be kept in the dark. maybe there's some misunderstanding somewhere. but that's what i feel. wonder if this spells the end of our friendship or if anything worse is gonna come my way. for now, i'm sticking to my decision. to my friends who are constantly hearing my complains and suffering from my mood swings, thanks! especially daniel who's kinda caught in between on saturday. sorry if i've made things difficult for you.