2010年10月31日 没有王仕捷的第三百五十四天

i'm missing him like crazy. i reckoned that whatever silly things i'm doing now, they're all efforts to occupy my time. perhaps it's unfair to everyone else, but i really have no idea how to cope with this any longer. i'm on the verge of breaking down. can't wait for december to arrive but yet the anticipation is juz killing me further. much as i wish i could juz walk away, i know i can't bear to give up. i wonder if he's gonna be back for good next year, when will this waiting end?

2010年10月21日 没有王仕捷的第三百四十四天

我哭了。但为何还是那么纳闷？
好累，好烦。但想念还是那么深。
不断地重复着《你为什么说谎》。

2010年10月12日 没有王仕捷的第三百三十五天

妈妈终于返国。三个月的分离，真是度日如年。我终于不必为了繁重的家务而烦，爸爸也不会再感到寂寞。好期待下个月和爸妈的上海之旅。=）

最近总是觉得心神不宁，仿佛有些事在困扰着我。倒霉的事接二连三地发生在我身上。或许是他的置之不理，也或许是另一个他又再度走进我的世界的缘故。我真的快要崩溃了。我很爱很爱他，但为何另一个他却扰乱了这份爱？是那个他让我走出了荣的世界，但也就是同一个他让我伤心绝望。我有种无法自拔的感觉，但我清楚知道，一错再错是十分愚蠢的行为。珍惜对他的那一份爱是我所应该坚持的信念。

2010年9月25日 没有王仕捷的第三百十八天，没有妈妈的第八十五天

我爱他 丁当

他的轻狂留在某一节车厢
地下铁里的风比回忆还重
整座城市一直等着我
有一段感情还在漂泊

对他唯一遗憾是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪都停不下來
若那一刻重来我不哭
让他知道我可以很好

我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏都不肯醒来

我爱他跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心深深伤过却不会忘
我和他不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂最终的荒唐

如果还有遗憾又怎么样呢
伤了痛了懂了就能好了吗
曾经依靠彼此的肩膀
如今各自在人海流浪

逃不开爱越深越互相伤害
越深的依赖越多的空白
该怎么去爱

如果还有遗憾是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪都停不下来
若那一刻重来我不哭
让他知道我可以很好

his replies never fail to bring a smile to my face, loving him...

2010年9月17日 没有王仕捷的第三百十天，没有妈妈的第七十七天



preparation for SingTel N8 training early monday morning. feels like going back to school again. =P glad that it's finally over.

2010年9月4日 没有王仕捷的第两百九十七天，没有妈妈的第六十四天

爸爸的爱心零食

daddy left for his malaysia trip late last night and i'm now officially home alone till monday. =( prepared lots of food and tibits for me before he left. *loves*

2010年8月31日 没有王仕捷的第两百九十三天，没有妈妈的第六十天

it wasn't me! =P

2010年8月16日 没有王仕捷的第两百七十八天，没有妈妈的第四十七天

the surprise that awaits me on my desk on wednesday morning. belated birthday pressie from yingyi, clive aka romeo and sky. thank you! i love the mahjong set to bits! =) one down and many more to go. there are juz too many variety to choose from the hello kitty range that kept me torn between choices.

2010年8月14日 没有王仕捷的第两百七十六天，没有妈妈的第四十五天

=) no matter how little time we have together, it never fails to make me smile whenever i'm with him. tho i have no idea where this is gonna lead me to, i'll not give up no matter how tough the road ahead is gonna be.

12 August - Tempat Senang with Joyce and Yingyi

- Balinese
- Foot Reflexology
- Green Tea Scrub
- Aromatherapy Massage
- Hot Herbal Compresses
- Mud Wrap

it was a great 6 hours treatment. looking forward to our next getaway spa - OCTOBER!

06 August - Marina Bay Sands - Ben & Gerard Birthdays




i lost count of the number of 'oh my god' when each person stepped into the suite. lovely view of the city skyline, amazing in-suite facilities and of coz the great company. most of us are suffering from 5488 withdrawal symptoms and shall work towards 5498 next year! =P

2010年8月5日 没有王仕捷的第两百六十七天，没有妈妈的第三十六天

每段恋情都会有属于它的主题曲。而总是有些主题曲一辈子都在提醒着我那些过去的恋情。年轻就是本钱，青春无价。当年的我没经历过任何风雨，也没碰过任何挫折，很单纯地认为能和她永远地在一起。不知从什么时候开始，我对永远的定义有所改变。永远不再是因相爱而在一起，永远是因责任和习惯。某人问我是否曾后悔当初那段不被看好的恋情。是那段恋情让我成长了不少，也是那段恋情改变了我的一生。她对我的付出和牺牲，让我终生难忘。我对她的亏欠，是永远弥补不了的。

约定 周惠

远处的钟声回荡在雨里
我们在屋檐底下牵手听
幻想教堂里头那场婚礼
是为祝褔我俩而举行

一路从泥泞走到了美景
习惯在彼此眼中找勇气
累到无力总会想吻你
才能忘了情路艰辛

你我约定难过的往事不许提
也答应永远都不让对方担心
要做快乐的自己
照顾自己
就算某天一个人孤寂

你我约定一争吵很快要喊停
也说好没有秘密彼此很透明
我会好好的爱你
傻傻爱你
不去计较公平不公平

为何感触那么深？

2010年7月19日 没有王仕捷的第两百五十天，没有妈妈的第十九天

loves skype coz i get to talk and see mummy at zero cost! say bye bye to long distance calls. thanks to 淑芬! just ended the conversation with peeps over at india. take care! catch up soon on skype!

如果时间真的能冲淡一切，为何我对他的思念还是一天一天地加深？

2010年7月18日 没有王仕捷的第两百四十九天，没有妈妈的第十八天

想念你。想拨通电话给你，听听你的声音。
或许我已不存在你的世界，但你却还是我的全部。
我们真的只能做好朋友吗？
好想投入你的怀抱，好想靠在你的肩。
会有结果吗？

世上只有妈妈好，没妈的孩子像根草。

2010年7月11日 没有王仕捷的第两百四十二天，没有妈妈的第十一天

had a good lesson with my dad and his friends tonight. wish he had told me the story much earlier and i would have put it into good use. it would have saved me lots of unnecessary trouble. i've always looked up to my dad, and he has my utmost love and respect, always will.

finally spoke to mum over the phone after ten days of separation. miss her so much. counting down to 29 september since the day she left. trying my best to spend as much time with dad as possible. fitting my schedule around his. hope he doesn't feel too lonely without my mum's presence.

for him, nothing's changed. to be honest, i was pretty affected by the recent facebook posts. if you had wanted to upset me with those words, then congratulations! but i won't let this disrupt my life or emotions for it would be too stupid of me. met up with dear dear for lunch yesterday and he asked if i'm intending to wait for him. i really dunno. the rational me will say no as things will not be what i want them to be, but me being the emotional me, i will. it's time to make a decision.

2010年7月1日 没有王仕捷的第两百三十二天，没有妈妈的第一天

back from the airport. realised i was right in not sending jay off last year. it would have been juz as difficult to fight back the tears. feel silly for letting the emotions run for i know 3 months gonna fly past me before i know it. but i've never been apart from my mum for such a long time, i'm so gonna miss her.

2010年6月27日 没有王仕捷的第两百二十八天

如果当年我懂得珍惜他，现在的我们是否会不一样？
或许后悔已经太迟，但我真希望时间能倒流，让我重新选择。
我一直认为是我当初伤害他在先，造成他对我的不信任。
有办法弥补这个错误吗？

2010年6月19日 没有王仕捷的第两百二十天

seeing the familiar streets in the movie reminds me of him. i know i'm silly. been hoping for my phone to ring, hoping for him to ask me out. *sigh* i'm juz too hopeful. it's juz not gonna happen. for the past months, he's never had time for me each time he's back and probably never will. i'm nothing to him, probably juz a good friend if there need to be a relationship defined. missing him like crazy, and i really wish i can have more time with him. i suppose it's not possible. wonder what he's up to now, wonder if he knows i'm here thinking of him.

2010年6月17日 没有王仕捷的第两百十八天

i'm so hopelessly in love. miss snuggling in his arms. miss our late night coffee sessions. miss mcdonalds fries with salt. miss hanging out with him. been a long time since we went on a proper date. *sigh* wonder if i'll be able to catch him again before his flight on sunday.

好朋友 罗志祥

像两首节拍不同的歌
却又同时被爱情合奏
旋律勉强着
愉快不能够假装快乐
你心中有宽阔的天空
空气还稀薄
曾经等待因为会改变什么
你总会属于我
但是最后时间证明了
你只喜欢我

你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心还会不会寂寞

如果爱情是五线谱
我只希望用全音符
吟唱出爱上你
那完整的幸福
当你的心没有耳朵
即使我为你唱着歌
你也只看见我哭了

你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心还会不会寂寞

曾经因为等待会改变什么
你总会属于我
但是最后时间证明了
你只喜欢我

你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心还会不会寂寞

你说我是你最好的朋友
却不应该再拥抱着
你退缩你冷漠
于是我放开双手
不在乎我的心会永远的寂寞

2010年6月7日 没有王仕捷的第两百零八天

catherine beauty series

so loving the facial masks. he chanced upon it while searching for my pressie. i'm probably biased but he's never failed to surprise me with 'customised' gifts. *smiles* the meet up has proven that time has not changed anything, not for me. glad that he managed to squeeze out some time to accompany me. fallen in love and still falling in love. looking forward to seeing him next week. *beams*

thank you dearies for the birthday dinner at sml and drinks at sheraton! and of coz, many thanks to shirleen and kee for hosting us amidst the madness of getting your apartment into order. and also, thanks to hazel for the company throughout. i've truly enjoyed myself this 买东西，吃东西，买东西，吃东西 trip. *grins* can't wait to start planning for the next.

not forgetting the wonderful birthday surprise kes arranged on wednesday. it was truly a great surprise seeing so many people at jack's place for dinner. thanks to all for making time and for making me drunk before midnight, and to the boys and kes for sending me home. it's gonna be payback time in time to come. *winks*

to everyone else who sent your well-wishes through sms or facebook, thanks for remembering and making this birthday special.

2010年5月20日 没有王仕捷的第一百九十天

so intoxicated and so sleepy now. last night's mambo was a blast! love byden to bits. =)

i'm sorry for calling so early in the morning. i'm sorry for texting emo stuff again. i'm sorry for not being able to rationalize things. i'm sorry for not being able to forget you. i'm sorry for everything that i've done and not done. nothing has changed since you left for hong kong, not for me. you might have found someone else, you may find me not good enough for you, but i still love you the same. there was this question in the speed dating registration form: what qualities do you look for in a partner? my immediate answer was him. he's everything that i wanted, almost perfect i suppose. i guess it's juz not meant to be but i'm still waiting.

2010年5月14日 没有王仕捷的第一百八十四天

It's been a peaceful 3 months till it decided to come back and wreck havoc again. Sick and tired of having to put up with its nonsense time and again. Don't even wanna mention its name as the very thought of it irks me. I wonder what he has given his army that they are all so obedient. Do they not have eyes to see nor ears to hear? My sympathy goes out to all of you. It's time for me to speak.

I know it since years ago at zouk. My 1st impression, very touchy animal. I distanced myself as much as i could for i was not interested in it and i kept this impression of it to myself as kes seemed to be on very good terms with it. I did not want to be bad-mouthing someone as it might juz be me. Soon after, it left the zouk scene for overseas studies. When it came back for good, i let it start on a fresh clean sheet, only to realise that some things juz wouldn't change. It tried to hit on me many times, but things juz didn't go its way.

Sarah's appearance was the turning point, he seemed serious about dating her, or so i thought. I was drunk one night and being the 'caring' friend, it offered to fetch xiao bai and me home. It claimed i seduced him and it caved in to temptations (which guy wouldn't as it mentioned). The fact is, it tried hitting on the half-drunk me despite me reminding it of sarah. I remember clearly what its response to me was, don't mind about her. At that moment, i juz felt silly for believing that it and sarah were for real. Anyway, it was another failed attempt for it. Then on, i've heard a couple of stories of how it tried greasing other girls, including someone we know. I wonder if the ever so innocent, pretty and smart masters holder sarah knows about all its doings but juz oblivious to them or is she juz rumoured to be smart. Is the greaseball worth her giving up her family and hubby for? It said i was spreading rumours of sarah and it. People at zouk have got eyes, you kissed and hugged her openly and believe that no one would see?

For kiat's case, i've apologised. But who is it to fault me? It broke up a then great girl's marriage and tried to hit on kiat's (who is supposedly a good friend) girlfriend. Apparently, it wanted to get everyone at zouk to go against me because i came between kiat and girlfriend. Shouldn't it get them to go against itself as well?

Sick and tired of wrestling with pigs, coz even if they lose, they will still enjoy it.

p.s. To all animal (including pig) lovers out there, it does not refer to an animal, it's worse than one.